Groups of people find friendship in their common interests, and/or common values, preferences: religion and politics play a huge role. It's amazing, really, that friendships exist in spite of obstacles.
On message boards sexual preference determines circles of friends. Often in life Family rules: exigencies force us to trust, and even like, our relatives; that's why, I suddenly realized, that betrayal by a relative hurts and disappoints so very much.
Main Entry: ex·i·gen·cy
Function: noun
Pronunciation: 'ek-s&-j&n(t)-se, ig-'zi-j&n(t)-
Inflected Form(s): plural -cies
1 : that which is required in a particular situation -- usually used in plural
2 a : the quality or state of being exigent b : a state of affairs that makes urgent demands <a leader must act in any sudden exigency>
synonym see JUNCTURE
Please, I had to look it up to make sure, for myself: I do not wish to be didactic. Well, not much, ha.
All of this comes to mind because in the last couple of days I wrote two letters to my daughter Diana who is trekking to Australia, from California, at the invitation of my younger brother's widow. Diana's overall purpose is simply to research her own roots. If this desire has never hit you don't be surprised if one day it does intrude forcibly on everyday preoccupations. In one letter I wrote yesterday I included a copy of a photo taken of my parents, Diana'a paternal grandparents, in about 1930 in front of the Ambassador Hotel on Wilshire, LA, a photo most likely taken with my father's box camera. The couple were in their early 20's. They didn't have a dime. My father is wearing the very same clothes, baggy, he wore in another box camera photo taken shortly before leaving Sydney by ship (of course), a photo taken in the garden of his mother-in-law, my grandmother Lillian.
What's particularly worrisome is how quickly family loyalty can be shaken. Most of the time, thank God, family is cohesive, but breakups can ruin lives, embitter brothers, and damage children.
In my family it was usually the mothers who sacrificed themselves for the greater good of the family. Gee, I should have saved this entry for Mother's Day.
Mother, I still miss you.
Barry
6 comments:
You are so right, Barry. It really hurts when the cohesiveness (is there such a word) of a family breaks down. My family have always been on a pedestal to me but when I spent 6 months with them in the same house, I discovered that they are just human and can say and do things that really hurt. Sometimes I think that friendships outside of family can withstand more obstacles than the family can! Great entry! ~ Caroline ~
http://journals.aol.com/caromarls/ANewAdventure
Main Entry: co·he·sive
Function: adjective
Pronunciation: kO-'he-siv, -ziv
: exhibiting or producing cohesion or coherence <a cohesive social unit> <cohesive soils>
- co·he·sive·ly adverb
- co·he·sive·ness noun
I probably should have used 'COHESION.'
THE adjective LASTS LONGER: I WAS THINKING lasting longer
HA HA HA HA HA HA
Yeah, friendships outside family can include intimacy
and confession, both of which might be unsafe within family,
whagt with family gossi and so on.
Thanks for identifying and sharing your thoughts!
Barry
Thanks for the clarity! Glad to know there is such a word (who would have guessed!). ~ Caroline ~
mothers are childrens rocks and always will be. my mum lives 205 miles away and i only see her 4-6 times a year if im lucky but it doesnt mean i dont care
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/ramblings-of-a-married-man
I don't recall who said it, but the statement has always made sense to me, "You get to choose your friends, but not your family." I love my family but there are times when I'm pretty certain that I would never have selected them if given a choice. On the other hand, they certainly keep life interesting!--Sheria
http://journals.aol.com/aimer/on-my-mind/
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