Teenage Male Sex

I lost my virginity at age 18, kinda late by today's statistics. Although I lived alone, and had no relatives in America, I was hugely blessed by people who protected me. I delivered the San Francisco Chronicle for a living, and used to save up for a restaurant meal once a week at New Joes: my favorite dish was veal scalopini which cost $2.76 a huge sum for me back then. In that era a new Cadillac convertile cost $5,000; it was hot, for then, at 205 HP. I drooled outside the auto showroom.

My newspaper route manager picked me up in his truck outside every morning of the week and took me, and my papers, to the beginning of my route. Newspapers must have been far thinner, and lighter then than they are today. Today delivery people are men in cars. The route manager treated me with elaborate respect. He almost forcibly took me to my own High School graduation which I intended skipping. Yet, he had a dark side; he transported pornographic films from Las Vegas to San Francisco. He told me that, or I overheard it in his conversations with another, but he'd never have allowed me to see any such film, and at that time I had no interest. I've never found them interesting: the acting is too bad. (I'm an actor.)  However, chagrined to find that I'd gone to a bar where he knew I'd be preyed upon, he arranged for me to visit a prostitute. He kinda acted like he was my father, a father of the old school. I'm still grateful for him. Don't remember his name. Not even his first name.

At that time houses of prostitution were protected by the city of San Francisco. The justification was probably to control the spread of STDs as well as crime. Drugs had not yet become epidemic. The city was curiously benign, tranquil, and had been a huge factor in the US Navy's combat planning in WW2. You may know that The Hornet, a famous aircraft carrier, is still docked in San Francisco Bay.

What I mean to say is that in spite of unusual, or not so unusual, exposures to things sexual beginning at age 3, I arrived an untroubled teenager. My only serious problem was acute loneliness. I assuaged that by going to the movies. Movies must have been very inexpensive in those days because I went all the time. That was the extent of my social life. 

The prostitute the route manager fixed me up with was very gracious and ordinary. I liked the fact that she was ordinary. There was virtually no conversation. The act took place in shaded daylight from windows with translucent blinds. She did no phoney acting, something I appreciated even then. She was the boss and positioned herself on top.

I made so little effort to find a girl friend that I'd probably have missed my HS graduation dance if I hadn't been asked by a girl whose name I can't remember. She was a rebel, and intellectual, and ended up at Radcliffe, living off campus with some guy which was very unusual for that era. She never spoke to me in Cambridge. Maybe the guy was jealous, or more likely she found me far too square.

I remained square. I'm still square. But at least it's by choice, and not from fear. I doubt I understood the spiritual dimensions of sexuality until comparatively late in life. God provides the option of making sexuality spiritual to give couples the strength and endurance to selflessly raise children. But, of course, some gifts are not recognized as such. No doubt I've been guilty of that.

Barry